The Ballad of Janet and Burt
by AlohaBlackbird
Summary: Elizabeth and Henry watch some Parks & Recreation and decide to engage in some roleplay. (Just a warning this will probably make no sense and you will think I am absolutely bonkers if you have never seen Parks and Recreation.)


Warning...if you haven't seen Parks & Recreation this will probably make absolutely no sense to you and you will think I'm insane...

* * *

"Aww babe…you had a crush on me, that's embarrassing!"

"We're married…"

"Still…"

~ Andy & April

* * *

Elizabeth McCord walked into a quiet house late Friday evening. She strolled through the dark dining room to find her husband sitting alone on the couch chuckling quietly.

"Hey handsome," she said, acquiring his attention.

"Hey babe," he replied, his face lighting up.

"Are you alone?" She asked as she sank down on the couch next to him.

Henry wrapped his arm around her shoulders and kissed her temple, "Yep, all of the kids are out."

"That's okay, you'll do." She said, sinking into his soft embrace. "What are you watching?" She raised an eyebrow at the screen.

Henry chuckled, "Parks and Recreation. I was watching with Ali earlier and after she left I just kept watching. It's pretty ridiculous but really funny."

Elizabeth settled in and focused on the show, "Okay so wait, this guy is a shoe shine? That's still a real thing?"

Henry laughed, "That's Andy and yes, just don't question it."

Elizabeth raised an eyebrow but kept watching. "Sex hair…this song is about sex hair?"

Henry laughed, "This is one of his better songs, in my opinion."

Elizabeth turned to look at Henry, "You've seen way more of this show than you're letting on."

Henry pursed his lips and nodded, "That's a distinct possibility."

She shook her head, laughing and turned back around to watch the show. A few minutes later she broke the silence, "Hang on, so is Andy dating this girl?"

"That's April, not yet, but eventually and they're great, they do all kinds of weird couple stuff."

Elizabeth raised an eyebrow, "What kind of weird stuff?"

Henry laughed, "Um, well do you want to watch another episode so you can see?"

She shrugged; she was very intrigued by her bookworm husband's enjoyment of this series. "Yeah, let's do it."

Henry found the episode he was searching for and hit play. They watched for a little while, the episode was set in a bar and April and Andy were having fun roleplaying. "Oh my god," she muttered, her face turning red, "Do you remember when we used to do that stuff?"

Henry grinned, his eyes twinkling wickedly as he recalled the fond memories. "I don't think we ever got quite this…involved. But honestly maybe we should have. It looks kind of fun."

Elizabeth pursed her lips and tilted her head to look upwards, "Well…we're not dead yet, there's still time to have some fun…"

"With diplomatic security on our tails? Not to mention your beautiful and recognizable face."

Elizabeth pouted, he was unfortunately right. "Well…the kids are all out…we could just have some fun here?"

Henry's eyes were wide, "So you're telling me you want to transform into Janet Snakehole, a very rich widow with a terrible secret?"

Elizabeth stifled a laugh, "As long as you're going to be Burt Macklin, FBI."

"Oh, I can manage that." Henry replied, trying his hardest to not crack and maintain his seriousness.

Elizabeth jumped up off the couch, "Okay, I'm going to get together some…clothing, don't come upstairs. I want you get the full effect once I'm ready!" With that she dashed up the stairs.

Henry felt…excited…he was really excited about this. Their sex was never boring but spicing it up with something like this every once in a while was always a good time and served to remind him that he would never stop being excited about the prospect of each new day with his incredible wife.

He got up and went to the coat closet where he found his leather bomber jacket. This wasn't exactly FBI standard but it would work well for a disgraced agent pinned for stealing the president's rubies. He laughed even as he thought that to himself. What an absurd show. He then went out to his car to grab his sunglasses. This look would be perfect.

Meanwhile Elizabeth was upstairs going through Ali's closet to find a shawl she knew was in there somewhere. It would work perfectly and she knew Ali also had a hat somewhere around here that would work. Thank god for her fashion loving daughter. She felt a little bad about using her daughter's clothing in this weird sex game but it wasn't enough to get her to put back the items.

She then headed to her closet to put on a slinky, simple black spaghetti strap dress and decided to forgo her undergarments. That would drive Henry crazy.

Once changed and grabbed a pair of towering ankle strap heels she made her way down the staircase in the kitchen and started grinned when she saw Henry sitting at the table. He looked sexy as hell in the leather jacket and aviators.

She bit her lip, "Well, well, well, Agent Macklin."

Henry turned toward her, his face lighting up in a huge grin when he saw her outfit. "Janet Snakehole, we meet again." He was trying his hardest to stay serious but it was quite the struggle.

Elizabeth pursed her lips and breathed in through her nose, she could do this without laughing. "Seems you're out of uniform, Agent Macklin." She said as she reached out to trail a finger down the edge of his jacket. She too was struggling to hold herself together.

"You know quite well I was accused of a crime I didn't commit and now I'm operating rogue."

"What was that crime again, stealing the President's rubies? That's quite naughty, Agent Macklin, but I will admit you must be highly skilled to pull off such a job."

Henry stepped forward and traced his fingers up her arm; he felt a surge of pride when he felt her shiver at his touch. He loved that he could affect her this way. "Yes, now I'm on the run attempting to find the real culprit and clear my name."

Elizabeth bit her lip as she looked up at him. She could tell he was on the verge of laughter as well but it didn't matter. She was never embarrassed around Henry no matter how strange they could get together. Elizabeth loved that, Henry made her feel bold and empowered and never ashamed to voice her desires. "I wonder who else would have the impressive skills needed to accomplish that feat?"

Henry raised an eyebrow and stepped forward so he could run his hands up her sides. He leaned in and whispered in her ear, "Well, I suspect it's the terrible secret of a certain stunning and very rich widow."

Elizabeth couldn't help herself as she stifled her laughter but she wasn't going to give up this act for anything, she was having far too much fun. "Are you certain of that, Agent? Why on earth would a very rich widow need to steal the President's rubies?"

He wrapped his arms around her torso and pulled her body flush against his. This time when he whispered in her ear his lips grazed her ear and sent shivers down her spine. "I think she's just bored. All the money in the world couldn't buy her the excitement of such a high stakes heist."

Elizabeth took a deep breath and it took every ounce of strength in her to press her palms to his chest and push him away. "Well, if you think I'm going to bend over and indulge your ridiculous theory you aren't as smart as I thought you were."

Henry cocked an eyebrow, he knew she was baiting him. "Oh, Ms. Snakehole, you grossly underestimate me."

She pursed her lips and shot him a wicked smile, "Agent Macklin, I never underestimate anyone. I am, however, curious to know how you're going to get me to admit to anything when you have no evidence other than your gut?"

Henry's eyes flashed with a devilish glint and he reached out, running his hand along her collarbone and making her feel like her legs were turning to jelly. "Oh, Ms. Snakehole, I can be very convincing. Especially once I've got you in certain…positions."

Elizabeth bit her lip, she could feel all the heat pooling in her stomach. She wanted him so bad but she also wanted to take this game slowly because she knew the payoff would be incredible. She took two steps back and slipped off her shoes. Henry grinned at her; he knew exactly what she was doing. "Well, looks like you're going to have to catch me first."

She took off into the dining room and Henry took off after her. She was full on giggling now, she couldn't help herself. She stopped at the end of the table and Henry paused at the other end. "Ms. Snakehole, I'm afraid since you've decided to make this more difficult, once I catch you I'm going to have to punish you."

Elizabeth's eyes twinkled with delight, "I might enjoy that, Agent Macklin." With that she took off into the entryway and around the living room and back into the kitchen.

Henry ran back through the dining room and into the family room to cut her off. She grabbed her shoe and playfully tossed it-not at all aiming for him-but in her excitement she tossed it a little too hard and knocked over a lamp.

Henry stood up straight, his eyes wide as he looked at the damage and tried not to laugh.

Elizabeth covered her mouth with her hand and she couldn't stop herself from laughing just a little bit. Henry finally lost his cool too and they both spent a minute laughing hysterically.

Henry was the first to compose himself and surprised her when he took several large strides toward her and tossed her over his shoulder and over the back of the sofa. She landed on her back and Henry immediately followed her, placing himself between her legs. He leaned over her body and untied the shawl so that it fell around the sofa; her hat had fallen off somewhere as she ran.

He stroked his hand down her body, his fingers trailing over her breast through the fabric of her dress making her whimper. Her body craved his touch.

Elizabeth couldn't think straight anymore. Henry did things to her she couldn't explain.

Henry slid her skirt further up her knees and he groaned when he realized she wasn't wearing any underwear. "Oh god, you're killing me." He said, breaking his character for a moment. He reached a hand in between her legs and ran a finger teasingly through her slick folds.

She moaned and gripped the sofa tightly and couldn't help but vocalize her approval when he inserted one finger and sunk inside her, creating a slow and steady motion that was quickly ridding her of all her control.

He pulled back when he realized they were in the family room and didn't want to give the kids an eyeful if they happened to come home. Elizabeth groaned in disappointment at the loss of contact. "Babe, I think we need to take this upstairs."

Elizabeth just nodded; she wasn't quite coherent at this point. Luckily Henry jumped off the sofa and tossed her over his shoulder once again and carried her up the stairs. Once inside the safe zone that was their bedroom he smacked her ass gently and set her down.

She cocked her eyebrow, "Is that all you've got for me, Agent Macklin? I don't feel very punished for being uncooperative."

Henry shot her a look that asked her if she meant what she was saying. She just smiled at him, she was absolutely looking for a good spanking. She wasn't particularly interested in the idea of all that dominant and submissive stuff in the bedroom but god it was hot every once in a while when Henry spanked her. It seemed to heighten her pleasure and she thoroughly enjoyed it. Plus she trusted Henry completely and knew he would never go too far.

He reached out to touch her shoulder and turned her around, "Well, I supposed a form of punishment can be arranged." He grabbed a hold of the zipper on her dress and slid it down her body. He pushed the straps off her shoulder and watched as it fell to the ground, exposing her gorgeous and very naked body. He pulled her back into his chest and started to massage her breasts, eliciting moans of pleasure from his wife. His hands occasionally traced down her flat stomach and in between her legs, each movement provoking another intoxicating sound dripping from his wife's perfect lips.

He led her over to the bed and guided her to kneel down on all fours. Elizabeth could feel the anticipation building in her stomach, she could feel her arousal dripping down her thigh, this was just so hot.

Henry ran his hand from her shoulder to her bottom and rubbed gently before smacking her small behind and somehow making the pleasure vibrate through her body.

His mouth was then on her backside as he kissed his way up her body until he got to her ear, "That was okay?" He whispered and her heart melted. He was always so concerned with her feelings.

She grinned and turned to him, "It was great, baby. Take off your clothes."

He stripped out of his clothing and she turned around on the bed so she was lying on her back while propping herself up with her elbows and she watched the show.

When he finished he crawled over top of her and she reached down between them to grab his hard length. He moaned at the contact, he was so ready. This whole game they played had left them both thoroughly turned on.

She didn't want to waste any time either and lined him up with her body so he could sink in. She immediately wrapped her legs around his waist and her arms around his shoulders, she wanted him as close as possible. Their game was finished and now they were Elizabeth and Henry again, enjoying their deeply forged intimacy in the way that only the closest of lovers could master.

His lips were on hers and their tongues dueled in a sweet rhythm their bodies perfectly matched. They managed to keep up their furious pace, both of them searching for that sweet release. Henry's hands were not idle as he ran them along her sides, both in an effort to keep up his pace and not lose control and because he just couldn't get enough contact with her. Elizabeth's arms were around his neck, holding him to her as they kissed in an effort to anchor herself to this exquisite reality. She came first, her body started to shake and she had to pull her lips away from his because she couldn't focus anymore. Henry was fine with this as he loved to watch her as she came apart, the way her lips parted and her eye fluttered as she came was such a stunning experience. He came shortly after her; the exquisite feel of her muscles vibrating around him was almost always the catalyst to his own release.

He collapsed on top of her and managed to use his remaining strength to roll to the side so he wasn't covering her whole body and crushing her. She wrapped her arms around his neck once again and buried her head in his shoulder.

She could finally speak after quite a while, "That was…incredible."

Henry grinned and turned his head to kiss her neck. "It's always incredible with you, babe."

She blushed, she loved that Henry could still make her blush. "True, but Janet Snakehole and Burt Macklin were fun to play around with…maybe we should consider doing that kind of thing more often?"

Henry smiled at her, "I'll do anything with you, Mrs. McCord."

Before Elizabeth could respond they were abruptly knocked out of their bliss when they heard Ali's voice echoing up the stairs, "What happened here? Why is there a broken lamp and why is my shawl on the sofa?"

Elizabeth and Henry burst out laughing. "You might want to start using those CIA skills to come up with an explanation because I've got nothing." Henry said with a laugh.

Elizabeth shook her head, she had no idea what she was going to tell Ali but no matter what happened with their daughter she was in a damn good mood and nothing could ruin it.

* * *

Honestly I'm not even sure what I think of this. My sisters thought it was funny so I hope you all think that too. I was extra nervous before posting this because it's soooo weird so leave me some validation pretty please?! Thanks as always for reading, it means a lot to me. xxx J


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